Thanksgiving

We enjoyed a delicious thanksgiving dinner with my grandma, aunt and cousin. Full of turkey, stuffing... and pumpkin pie! Seeing as how we left the second pie with grandma, I think Robin should bake another one (or two). Yep.
Not much else around here to report. Same ol' working and home stuff.
Let's see, Abi's getting bigger, her vocabulary grows in leaps and bounds, she's increasingly daring in climbing EVERYTHING... all things to be expected. I have mentioned she's independent right? Yeah, well, she's also two and a half... enough said.
She's already planning her own third birthday. To hear her tell it, it's next week. "I'm going to be three" she tells everyone. "But I'm still just two" she adds. At first she was getting two cakes, and now it's three (according to her). We'll see what proportions this grows to in the next 6 months... She also has many ideas of what gifts she wants. "I'm getting two bears for my birthday" oh, really? She doesn't need more! I think I should be blaming Ericka for sending a belated gift package in September. Now she's expecting more gifts! :P
Yule should be very exciting this year for her. Last year she was overwhelmed and I think having my even-more-excited parents there didn't help. Plus another excited toddler. This year should be a little quieter since we'll be staying in Ontario. We can take things a little slower. But why am I even talking about Yule already? Yuck! Stop that Mandy!!
I haven't even made plans for Samhain yet, let alone plan for Yule.
What's Abi going to wear for Halloween trick or treating (wherein she will gather candy for ME)? People keep asking. I figure she can wear the green spider web dress she already loves that has a matching witch hat. Hey, she loves it. She already wore it to the local medieval faire and then again the next day to a birthday party (at her insistence) and she might just wear it every day if I let her. Really innovative, I know. Witch and witchling dressing up as witch and witchling for Halloween :P It's the only day I can get away with wearing my collection of fabulous-fun witch hats in public - without weird looks.

Photos? yeah, I'll get you some. I just found the camera after looking for days... somehow it ended up in the bottom of my PJ drawer. I knew I'd seen it last in a 'basket' of clothing (apparently that basket was a drawer - I was close).

Pagan studies rant - please excuse :P

In preparation for finishing this next chapter about the Pagan movement I have been entering my ridiculously-huge collection of articles, chapters, theses, books, etc into Zotero for easy reference and as a review of what I have. As a habit, whenever I encounter an article or such that I might potentially find useful "one day" I used to save it. (That was before Zotero. Now I could just save the data about the article if it seemed peripheral and less likely I'd ever read it.) Consequently, I have a huge collection of articles in both print and electronic format. How huge? So far I'm at 90 items tagged with "Paganism" in my Zotero files and I'm not done entering data.
Of these, 26 are graduate thesis documents (which reminds me I've not entered my own thesis yet).
I'd like to send out a notice to all graduate students (especially at the Masters level) considering a study of Paganism - the ethnography of Paganism/Wicca/Witchcraft has been done! Honest, you really don't need to write the same thing about modernity/postmodernity, institutionalization, identity issues, nature religion, ecology... can we please try for something insightful?
Some of the works are good. There is one in particular that I really wish the author would have pushed for publication. But most of it makes me want to pull my hair out. I realize much of this comes from shared conversations that were being engaged in the field of Pagan Studies as it developed. Thus I understand the multiplicity of research on a given topic. I also know I have the benefit of hindsight to observe many papers over a long period of time. What irks me are the papers that were published well after the original discussion - papers that don't contribute anything new. These are old theses - they're new (recent), well, except that their content isn't new in the least. In particular though, I'm appalled at what passes for acceptable research at the graduate level...
Are my standards too high? Am I pushing myself too hard to develop a meaningful, insightful dissertation? Probably. That is, upon reading other PhD level theses I'm quite certain I could get away with less. I could have simply written up the results of my fieldwork even though by my own standards (and those of my supervisors) the sample was fairly small. However, comparing my sample with equivalent works I realized my sample is above-average in size. Instead, dissatisfied by the sample size I sought to redirect my energies into greater theory analysis, using my fieldwork even more so as an illustrative case study (which it already was) and less as the focus of the dissertation. That involved an entirely new and involved immersion in research from the entire range of the social sciences (anthro, psych, soc, and other multi-disciplinary fields). Now I wonder, on a practical level, if I was "wasting" time - not that I truly believe it was a waste. But if I'd just been allowed to accept what research I had gathered as being sufficient to secure my PhD a year ago, well I could have. Looking at other similar works, I realize now I could have done it.
Ah, but that was a year ago. And I could never be satisfied with less than the best from myself. Thus, here I am still wanting to make sure I've covered every angle; making sure I'm aware of all the relevant discussions about the Pagan movement as I finish the chapter on the topic.

And, in the end, I'll know "I did it!"

Why the reflection? I've been doing it a lot lately. But last night I was reading an interesting article in the Chronicles of Higher Education about incomplete PhDs. The author encourages supervisors to have meaningful discussions with their students to make sure the students actually want to complete the program - and to realize that ABD doesn't have to mean that your life is incomplete.
Which isn't to say I'm giving up on my completed PhD! There's no way I'm giving up the work I love. Even though it's slowed by the child I love more. And even though the job market is crap and I know it. I'll figure something out... I'm pretty darn innovative. And determined when I set my mind to it. (I heard that! Yes, I can be stubborn.)

Anyhow, my work on religious socialization and revising how this is approached and studied, I believe, will give me plenty to work with in the coming years.

Beard

Here you go, the BEARD that was:

Furry Family

If you didn't see Robin while his beard was growing out - quite long - you've missed your opportunity. He recently shaved it off. But he may yet grow it out again for the winter. I've seen a few photos that others took in Mexico and I'll try to get Robin to share them here.
In the meantime, here's a photo of my beloved family this morning.

(don't mind the mess of toys piled in the background. such are the joys of your living room doubling as the play room when space is limited. ps - since Yule is approaching, Abi really doesn't need more toys!)

With the camera out and the animals lazing in the sun, I realized it's been a while since I photographed them or shared photos of the rest of the family.

George


Fenwick


Fenwick and George


Darla

Tweeting, Coffee, and Cookies

Why should my Tweet-mates have all the fun?

I tweeted:

mmmmcoffee and cookies. this late at night? yes. I foresee late night... [it's 2100h]

I'm not one to idolize research peers, but right now I <3 Mark D. Regnerus. Prolific researcher/author on religious socialization and teens.

I think I'd overlooked Regnerus for so long because of the quantitative approach of his work. I wrongly assumed he was like the rest...

... if I'd not skimmed past his work long ago I could have saved myself a lot of work.* As usual, I took the long road...

...the long road gets me to the same place as the short road, only I figure it out myself and then find the other research saying the same..

...my work is thus conveniently validated by other research publications. And I no longer feel the burden of proof. I can point to the other

<- look, see, I'm not making this stuff up. This respected researcher found the same and they are not a lowly PhD candidate like me... :P

Still, there are days I wish I'd happened upon research X months earlier before I figured it out myself. Months of unnecessary work...

...unless you consider the journey necessary. Good thing I value the journey! Or I might be bitter...and write extended Twitter posts...
_________________________

*That is not entirely true. I don't think I would have properly appreciated his work when I first encountered it. I wasn't ready. I would have seen different things in it than I do now, after this journey.
I'm finding a lot of "new" things in sources I read at the beginning of this journey... they were always there of course, but I didn't catch them, or they seemed irrelevant, or... well, you know how it is. There was so much other good stuff to learn from them. Such are some of the limitations of not having others to talk with about my research and readings. I enjoy self-guided research and learning, but there are times I long for conversation with others involved in the same research. You know, another me. Imagine me and me talking... wait, I do that often.

Rock a bye

Sing along with Abi:
Rock a baby bye
On the tree chalk
When the baby falls
It's time to go to bed.

I'm guessing she's heard the original at daycare because I sing:

Rock a bye, baby
On the tree top
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough bends
The cradle will sway
So sleep ______ (darling/pretty baby/ Abi - or whatever I insert)
Sleep until day/through the day (depending on nap or bedtime song)

I also sing a verse I made up entirely:

Rock a bye, baby
Out on the sea
When the waves roll
They'll lull you to sleep
When the waves break
Upon a new shore
You'll rest/dream/nap on the beach
Listening to the sea roar.

I avoid the cradle-falling original verse. It's too violent for me. Honestly, why would I want to sing about my baby falling??

Perhaps I shall post later about our other lullabies.

Home Again / Fish

Robin returned home, again, late on Saturday. Abi was shy to see him Sunday morning, but then again, it was also the morning and she's not a morning person. She perked right up at the promised of presents though!
It's been a while since I posted any photos of Abi, so here are a couple from this evening. I was taking photos of the newest member of the household (below) and Abi asked me if I was going to take her photograph too.

So I did.
A couple shots later (see flickr), however, she was insisting I not take more.

Which meant I had to take at least one more...

And another while she ignored me.


Most of my photos today were of this:

The as-of-yet-nameless fish Abi picked out at the store today to complete the tank.
ETA: Abi named him today: Gargamel


You might also notice he has new plants in the tank too. More than one.
I think he's quite handsome, don't you?




He certainly does.



He's not alone. There's at least one snail and I think the other critter is a little shrimp. We may or may not have also had/still have a baby corydora fish. Maybe it was the little shrimp all along. Or maybe there are two critters and I just haven't spotted the baby fish in a while.


Can you spot the wee trumpet snail? Well, it was much more exciting when it was the only visible critter in the tank.

No more sick please

Ick. Abi was sick from Saturday evening through Monday and then it was my turn to crash following a lack of sleep and exposure to her virus. Thankfully I wasn't vomiting like Abi and I got through it quicker - with a good day of sleep and another restful night.

But before that hit, we were able to attend the local Knitters Fair on Saturday. I was a good girl and only bought a few items all for about $45. Pretty darn good for yarn fair shopping. That's what I spent on me. I got a couple of small remnant skeins of green lace weight from Waterloo Wools (my favourite local dyer) and two skeins of sock yarn in orange and brown from Painted Fleece (only $11 each),plus a few simple stitch markers from Painted Fleece because I can never find enough when I need them. I bought some lovely sock yarn from PF last year too, and some laceweight I still haven't used.
My sister received these socks made with Painted Fleece yarn last year.


I also picked up some more expensive (as in one skein cost more than all the stuff I bought combined) cashmere for a friend who couldn't attend (as intended) because she had a baby a couple days earlier. Darn baby just couldn't wait! :P The local knitters group all pitched in and we bought her the cashmere she'd been hoping to get (or, we assume this was the particular cashmere she wanted based on several clues in previous discussions.) It was our "bouquet" with a card signed by all. I wrapped it up like a baby in a basket and delivered it to her doorstep that day. After knocking at the screen door (thankfully nobody was visible in the house) I raced back to the car at the side of the house, my adrenaline pumping, and drove off with Abi and Darla. (We proceeded to the dog park and then to a park with swings for Abi - all before she was sick.)
The picture quality is fuzzy because (I later realized) Abi had covered the lens with fingerprints.

Abi and I spent the past few days on the couch watching movies, cuddling, knitting. I was tired and ick while she was sick, but it wasn't until after she was better that I really crashed. Must be mommy-instincts. Wasn't much I could do while cuddling - except knit. Especially with the wireless issues I've had at home and the slowness of the laptop.
So I worked on some socks
photo pre-lens-cleaning
and

photo post-lens-cleaning

Finished the body of my cardigan


And yesterday (while I was sick) found this horrible hole in my socks!

Really not what I wanted to find yesterday.

Additionally, my sleep was interrupted yesterday by the mailman delivering a Knit Picks order. "Good afternoon, how are you?" he asked as I opened the door half-asleep and somewhat embarrassed by how I must have looked.
"I'm sick" I replied as I took the large box. Thankfully there wasn't anything to sign and he left quickly. Probably didn't want to catch anything! It was rather strange feeling to give an honest answer to a stranger rather than the usual "oh, I'm fine" we tend to give. I wasn't feeling coherent enough to do anything other than tell the truth. He'd woken me up from deep sleep with loud banging from the door knocker. Good thing too or I wouldn't have heard him and then I'd have to go pick up the box from a post office.

Only Two?

Sometimes (often) I have to remind myself that Abi is only 2 years old. Well, two and a half as of a couple days ago.
As I've said so many times before, she is very independent. Sure, she's been using the toilet for well over a year now, but at first she needed my help to get on, then I got her a step stool to help at the toilet and sink because she wanted to do it herself, but I still usually had to move the stool into place for her, then she was moving the stool herself (it's pretty big because it's two steps), and now she forgoes the stool and lifts herself onto the toilet before she moves the stool over to the sink to wash her hands. My offers to help are often met with "mom, you can go downstairs/to your office".

That's just one illustrative example of what she can and wants to do on her own.
At other times, however, she wants help. Or perhaps more accurately, she wants others to interact with her, so she claims she can't do it - when we know she can and does.
Other times she gets frustrated by simple things, like trying to unzip her sweater. Sometimes it works and sometimes it is stuck. When she's frustrated and making the situation worse by trying too hard, I have to remember that she's only 2! She hasn't yet grasped the concept of letting go and trying again.

Of course, I'm reminded every night when she doesn't want to sleep that she is 2.
And when I have to buckle and unbuckle her in the car seat.
And when she wants to nurse...
Or be carried because her "legs hurt" (I'd be more inclined to believe her if she didn't add that she can't walk because her arms hurt too from when she bumped into the door hours earlier.)

Thinking about it, I think we have a nice balance of independence and loving dependence (seeking comfort and interaction).

New Baby

This past weekend, Abi and I started an aquarium after a local friend dropped off the geeky-cool tank. This custom-built setup was no longer in use and taking up space, so my friend had sought out a new home. A tweet here, a delivery there, some stuff moved around the house and voila: I thought, hey, Abi would love a fish. I thought, hey, a free tank is cheap... just add water and $4 fish. Because, that's all I'd ever done in the past. Small tank, water, Betta = bathroom or kitchen table aquarium. Oh, and some Betta food.
Then I did some research... (silly me!)
As in most things I want to go chemical-free. So I thought we'd create a natural, planted tank environment. I'm good with plants. It creates a self-sustaining ecosystem and I understand ecosystems and cycles. Just needs some fish food, good lighting (still to be achieved in this tank), plants and a fish. Maybe a snail too. Oh, and the occasional partial water change. EASY! Except for needing a better light for the plants. And the fact that aquarium plants cost more than a simple fish.

The first thing we did was set it up next to the couch and added sand and gravel (and marbles, etc) as substrate. As shown above.

Then, off we went to the local aquarium shop for a plant. We're starting with one plant while the tank "cycles" to establish the nitrate balance. After allowing water to sit in a jug (to release its chlorine, etc) for 24 hours, I planted the "crypt" along with a bit of potting soil for its roots. Next I installed my modified undergravel filter. I had already removed the undergravel base because it is not good for planted tanks. I had read about the use of sponges, so I inserted the filter bottom into a thick slice of loufa sponge, with the air stone hanging down inside the sponge. Cleared away some of the substrate beneath and placed the sponge on top of a smooth stone. Then placed other stones over the sponge. So far it's functioning well to create some air in the tank and should provide a base for good bacteria, necessary for the establishment of a healthy tank.
Next I added the water, and then the "muddy" water in which my friend with an established tank had swished her filter, thus giving me diatomes with good bacteria inside. That's the icky stuff you see in the tank right now. It won't be there forever.
And, voila, we have tank set up:
It's not so exciting, I know, with just a plant and a carpet of diatomes.
So you can imagine my delight when I saw this:


It seems that, unbeknown to my friend, there must have been at least one fish egg in the filter. The changes in temperature likely were the catalyst for it to hatch, and thus the next day I spotted a baby bronze corydora fish. So far it only is visible around noon. I was afraid in the evening it had died. Now I needn't worry about getting a bottom feeder, and this thing should do just fine in our tank.

Also, I've sourced out someone selling crypt plants on kijiji for half the price, so I'll get a few more from him in the next couple weeks as the tank becomes better established. And I'm going to keep an eye out for an inexpensive (used or new) desk lamp that can clamp onto the back of the monitor so I can use a compact flourescent light bulb.