As a mom to (newborn) twins I have frequently encountered a common sentiment that sounds something like this: "You're brave! I don't think I could do it." (That's a direct quote from the other day.) Or simply "whoa, twins... how do you do it?"
My response is that I'm not so brave and we do what we must.
It wasn't a choice we made to have twins.
It's not so difficult. Or at least, I don't think it's overly taxing. Sure, it can be cumbersome to care for two babies in need. Plus the 4yo's needs. But it's not really any more taxing than parents who choose to have multiple young children. Personally, I think I'd rather have two newborns than babies 11 months apart. Maybe that's because I'm a babywearing, long-term breastfeeding, co-sleeping kinda mom. Not sure I'd want to be chasing down an 11 month baby (such as my niece) while also needing to nurse a newborn, for example. I'd rather nurse two newborns at the same time than a newborn and wiggly 11 month old baby (but yes, I'd be tandem nursing). And of course I'm fortunate that much of the time the twins nurse at the same time, thus halving the amount of time I spend nursing. Granted, there are other days when I think all I do is nurse. (I hand them over to Robin for diaper changes.)
As parents we figure it out though. I'm sure I'd figure out how to care for multiple babies not of the same age.
I'm really not so brave.
And as I've said, it wasn't as if we made a choice in this. I'm more inclined to think those parents who have babies 11 to18 months apart are the "brave" (or, crazy) ones. They made a choice* that resulted in two young babies several months apart. Aside from a pregnancy termination, we didn't have a choice in the matter. I suppose there are situations where parents of twins made a choice that resulted in twins - parents undergoing fertility treatments in which the odds of multiples are knowingly increased. That wasn't us.
When folks make comments that imply our situation is "special", they evidently haven't considered that we didn't choose to have multiples. We're not brave; we're just caring for two babies.
That being said, newborns are pretty easy to care for. Ask me in 8 months how we do it - chasing two little ones who have just learned to walk. In opposite directions. Actually, I can already tell you how we'll do it (at which point Robin will be back at work): I have an Abi! She already chooses to calm the babies. She tries to change diapers. And she loves to bottle-feed if given the chance. Mostly, however, she likes to play with her sisters.
*I'm excluding situations where a woman has a pregnancy forced upon her, which I would consider to be a very different situation.
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