Social Taboos and the Discussion of Religion

As someone who actively studies religions and religious people and religious activity and religious worldviews - and all that juicy stuff - I am always intrigued by the social taboos surrounding the discussion of religion. In particular, I am intrigued by my seeming-exemption.
Having interviewed and spoken with many Pagans, for example, I often hear (and read about) the implicit "don't-ask, don't-tell" policy they share with their extended family. In some cases, Pagan adults might tell their parents once and if the parents are not also interested in Paganism or related things (such as Tarot or the New Age movement or nature-based spirituality in some form, to cast the net widely) then it's not usually discussed further. Each respects the religious autonomy of the other or, at least, does not actively intrude upon the other. Sometimes even adult Pagans don't tell their own parents - ever. There are many reasons cited for this, but it typically amounts to avoiding real or potential conflict in the relationship.
(Can you tell what part of my research I've been reviewing today? And since I've been tempted to write an extended footnote on this only marginally related topic, I'm opting to blog it instead to get it out of my system)

Of course, Pagans are not the only ones who don't discuss religion outside of their religious community. Even within a religious community, discussion about religious beliefs and practices may not be common; they may be taken for granted as shared. (Not necessarily so with Paganism, but some things are still taken for granted - even if wrongly so). I found it interesting, for example, while following an e-mail list for Pagan parents, that there was very little discussion of Paganism or sharing Paganism with kids. Most of the discussion on the list was very mundane and entirely unrelated to Paganism (and, in some cases it seemed to me antithetical to the movement, but I shan't digress to my critique of a particular thread of discussion I observed).So, talk of religion is not entirely common.

I've also been told on repeated occasions that people (of all ages) are not really interested in religion. People like Robin. And many young people... who grow into adults who remain disinterested. And there are studies, etc, demonstrating the growth of "no religion" as a category of identification and the rise of "moralistic therapeutic deism" (see the works of Christian Smith et al. with youths). Several of the kids I have interviewed said the same. So, some people don't talk about religion because they are not interested in the topic. (Of course, when they do happen to be interested upon occasion, guess who they come talk to!)

So, whether it is the result of disinterest or fear of conflict or just getting caught up in other topics - people don't talk about religion very much.
Unless you happen to mention that you study religion.
Then all taboos are dropped and not only do people ask you about religion and religions from an academic perspective, but they even ask about your personal religiosity.

(Of course, these inquiries may come after I have to explain that I'm not going to be a minister. Or nun. Because if that's not the case - ie, if they can't assume to know or imagine what I would do with my studies in religion, then what is my use for religion? What do I do? What is my religion?
And what do you do with a degree in religious studies? <-- a valid question.)

Why is that taboo not extended to me?
Is it because, as a perceived "authority" I am "special" and beyond the boundaries of taboos that prescribe interactions to maintain "normal" social relationships regarding the topic of religion?
Why do strangers presume to inquire about my religiosity in a conversation?
As a "professional" in the study of religion(s) I anticipate inquiries about religion(s) in general - inquiries that would draw upon my professional, academic knowledge. Even if I'd rather talk about something else.

When people presume to inquire about my personal religiosity I typically side-step the question. Usually I have no interest in beginning an extended conversation related to my personal religiosity with a stranger.  It's bad enough that since I study new religious movements I receive many questions about "cults" and other NRMs and have to deliver the same spiel about what defines the Pagan movement (to someone who knows nothing about NRMs).

But as I tried to think of comparisons with other specialties, I realized this may be common. That is, that the inquirers seek to add a personal dimension to their knowledge.  They want to get insider information concerning my personal outlook (in this case, on religion) as a "professional".  I imagine computer engineers don't only have to answer questions about how a system works, but about what system they personally use and prefer.  I suppose it's the same, if one takes a mechanistic view of religion.  Having studied religion in many forms, I suppose others might seek my "informed" preferences for my own practice.  Certainly I've had people make such direct inquiries of me.

That's when I pull out my ol' cult-leader joke.  It's a goody. Have you heard me tell it?
(A little funnier than the Mandy with a Zed joke/story)

Other Person: What would your preferred religion be?
Me: I would want a religion based on respect... (yadda yadda)
OP:  Oh, that's good. You should start that religion based on your expertise!
Me:  Yeah!  And the first thing everyone would have to respect is ME!

mwhahahahahahahahahaha

Seriously, people set me up for that one all the time. It's so easy when people know you study "cults". (or, studied... since I actively try not to say my specialty is NRMs now that I am far more interested in the study of children).

If I was studying to be a minister, I wonder what kind of discussions people would start with me. I try to avoid all of these inquiries and conversations by emphasizing I do "sociology of religion."  It seems to confuse enough people that I can avoid further discussion about my personal religiosity.  At the very least it makes clear to people that I will not be a minister/nun and I don't have to explain that religious studies is not the same as theological studies (now, or, mostly... depending on the scholar...).  Sociology remains a relatively obscure social science I think.  I'm certain if I studied psychology of religion I'd encounter a whole other set of inquiries... I can hear them now.

Anyhow, the short of it is, I find it interesting that I am exempt for the social taboos around discussing (and in particular, asking about) religion and religiosity.  And, sometimes I'm annoyed by this exemption. But, mostly I'm intrigued and enjoy a good talk about religion.  It is my chosen field of study for good reason.