cats

This afternoon, as I watched Abi snuggling (molesting?) Fenwick, I couldn't help but wonder what will happen in the future when it is Fenwick's time to pass over. Abi will not remember Monkey, and that is okay. If Fenwick passed away now, I'm sure Abi would probably forget her too. But I am hoping that at least one cat will live to old age, and if that cat is Fenwick (being the only one left in this house) then I imagine she and Abi will have developed a strong bond over the next many years.
When I was little, younger than 5, we had a cat named Patches. She had kittens. She was a calico. That's about all I remember, but I recall being fond of her - as kids are of cats. Just before my 5th birthday we moved to England and she couldn't come with us. We didn't get another cat (or any pet) until I was 12.

I have a book, for Abi, that I bought about a year ago titled Desser The Best Ever Cat. I break down in tears every time I read it. It evokes memories of Snuggles, Molly, Jenny, and Gryphon all at once. I haven't dared to open it today. It is a wonderful book and I would highly recommend it to any parent mediating the loss of a beloved cat to a child, or for yourself.

Like Desser's family, I think of us as "cat people". Normally I'm ready to open my home to another cat in need pretty quickly. This time... well, Robin says no. But we'll see. I'm in no rush, but if another cat is meant to be here, it will happen. After Gryphon's passing we said we wouldn't get another until Abi started insisting. So long as she has Fenwick, I don't imagine she'll be demanding another cat. But that was when we had two cats already. One cat... sounds lonely.

Already I find myself wanting to snuggle more with Fenwick, which is odd considering Monkey was not a snuggler and I'd been happy to have independent cats at this time in my life. Fenwick does enjoy the attention when she gets it. I wonder how she will change now that she is the only (and thus alpha) cat. Of late, she has become more confident around Darla. This was before Monkey's passing. If it wasn't for Monkey, however, Fenwick might still be hiding.

It's difficult to accept Monkey is gone. In part because she was so independent and I am not accustomed to her physical presence. In part because I didn't see her body. Until the receptionist at the human society compared my lost report with their found reports, noticed they had a DOA from my area, and suggested they might take my photo to the back and check - I had honestly not even considered that Monkey could be dead. I assumed she was wandering. That maybe she was at the humane society in a cage. That maybe a family had taken her in to their home. That she was playing in the bushes. I suppose she is playing - somewhere in the cat afterlife where there are no babies to avoid, plenty of trees to climb, and mice to chase. Monkey would be happy there.